By: Buddhi Chaudhary 

My Ten Days Meditation Retreat Experiences 

Whenever, we look towards our life factors and movement, there are many things in life that are beyond our control. Though the facts are, there are possibilities and possible responsibilities for our own states of mind – and to change them for the betterment. Regarding to the Buddhism, it is one of the most important things that we can and Buddhism teach that these are the real antidotes for our personal sorrows and to the anxieties, hatreds, ill-will and fearfulness. 

Bhaveti Kusale Dhamme Asevati Vaddhati Eta Yati Bhavana. According to this mentioned Pali stanza, Meditation means transforming the mind from bad state to good and unwholesome state to wholesome states. So the Buddhist meditation develop the concentration, clarity, emotional positivity, love, compassion or commiseration, loving-kindness and calm seeing of the true nature of things. By more practicing and developing the methods, the meditation practitioner learns his or her own patterns of mind and cultivates more positive states of mind and new more profoundly of being. This regular practice will be deepen in the all states of mind and bring the peacefulness within the mind and of heart. Such experiences can have a transformative effect and can lead to a new understanding of life.

Reluctantly like a snail’s journey I don’t want to go, on 17^th December 2015, I stepped out of the room with my friends for the procedure of developing the mind process to be calm, cool and bring the peacefulness within the mind and heart. I was wearing the robes Thai style and form. On the surface of my yellow robes, I hang the pen, to look more scholastic than meditation practitioner, which was designing my studentship and for my uses to write the diary and notes. When, my friends see me, they would feel wired what he is doing? Some of them would joke and others would appreciate. Those, who appreciate would get heart-full thanks and others would get rhetoric comments that is the reason why, I used my nickname as Lonely Walker, from me.

 As the Buddha says that mind is forth runner, though the body is here, thoughts run far away, mind made we are, good and bad, wholesome and unwholesome acts of the human depends on his or her thoughts, even though, I was on the way to the Buddhamanthon, where there the meditation retreat was, thoughts were running through different places. Sometimes to the Buddhamanthon and another time, I would think of my mother and sisters, whether they pay their class fees. The arduous, impassable, intricate, involutes, rough, hard, difficult and tough life of my mother, death the hopes and ambitions though alive breathe, who is doing small business to survive and teach to my sisters.

Financial poverty is the one reason which made me to be come to the Buddhist monastery and be Buddhist monk and to have an education. Whenever drowsiness and laziness try to dominate me, while I am reading, writing and memorizing books, I would remind the difficulties and hard lives of my mother, I should learn and help to my mother, that I always pray to have not others this sorts of life. Sometimes, my friends, Childhood, laugh at me saying that, I am monk, you are a saint to sing hymn on the weddings, cremations and other ceremonies, what I can do in the future or what I can be to support my mother and sisters, since the world is competitive. I smiled but try not to reply them because I believe that if there the reasons to be got birth then, there should be ways or solutions to live, love and die peacefully. As the Buddha says that every action has reaction then surely, there would be some solutions for my actions.

 When, we reached to the Nakhonpathom province, I came to consciousness. While reading on the board that was hanging left side of the road, I murmured “Nakhonpathom” breaking my tow other friends sleep or slumber. Both of them looked at the board together.

“We are very closed to Buddhamanthon now” one of my friend said “how fast the chauffer did drive the taxi”

We all smiled looking each other’s face, you were sleeping, and how you dare know fast driving of the chauffer. He asked the reasons of our smile but dismayed his questions and started to talk about others things. We talked about the Buddhamanthon area, it’s sizes, the reasons to build it, comparing to our Lumbini cannonball garden (situated in the southern parts of Nepal) where there the prince Siddattha (Buddha) was born.    

“It is bigger than Lumbini garden” said my friend.

 We all agreed with him moving our head from up to down, moving the head up to down is to the sign of agreement and from right to left is denying sign in Nepalese traditions. Whenever, my friend sees our agreement to his concepts, he continued to describe about the Buddhamanthon.

“Buddhamanthon is an important religious venue of Thailand” he said “it was built in the region of B.E. 2500 or  1957, the site was built by the government and the people to commemorate the 2500th year of Buddhism with a huge upright walking Buddha image of 15.8 meters in height at the centre”.

Even though, I had been there many times in the terms of religious activities, I had very few knowledge about it. I knew nothing except it’s the religious venues and garden to relaxed, rest after hard works. 

“Who was built this garden?” I asked to my friend to know more about it.

 “King Bhumibhol Adulyadej” he replied in short.

About fifteen minutes of roaring through the Nakhonpathom province high ways, we approached the massive environmental park and Buddhist shrine known as Buddhamonthon in Nakhon Pathom, Thailand on the outskirts of Bangkok.

Upon the arrival to the garden, it was amazed me. How true the description of my friend. Before going to the residences, initially, we made our way through lush gardens. The massive statue of Buddha towers into the sky and is surrounded by neatly manicured gardens filled with bushes hedged into animals and grass cut so evenly you could balance a level.

After little walk through the green colored trees with sweet smells, we came across the code of conduct for the Buddhamanthon areas to be followed while wandering around here.

Surrounding the giant Buddha statue, there are well managed parks with different sorts of flowers, greenly trees, canals with many sorts of fish and huts for relaxing to the travelers. In the evening, many families, couples and teenagers came to relax around here. Some of them do exercise and others would sit on the bank of the canal and give foods to the fish.

We did not had more times to see these picturesque visions to see, though the heart and mind say, wait and see more, so, we moved towards Weluwana garden, where there our meditation hall and residences were. What a creation and imagination to create such enormous garden, I thought, while walking. The feature of the garden is symbolizing the ancient Indian Buddhist era where there the Buddha resided during his life time.

An area of bamboo groves and open woodland is excellent for passage migrants such as Yellow-rumped Flycatcher and Leaf Warblers due to the high density of mosquitoes. In the past Ferruginous Flycatcher, Hainan Blue Flycatcher, Mugimaki Flycatcher, Pale-legged Leaf Warbler and Asian Paradise Flycatcher have been seen here.

Plenty of resident species can be found here including the ever-present Oriental Magpie Robin, Racket-tailed Treepie, Green-billed Malkoha, Greater Racket-tailed Drongo, Common Iora and Small Minivet.

The left side of the grove, there was a canal with beautiful scenarios. The tall shadowy trees were been planted on the bank of the canal and the hand-made cement-tables were been kept for the visitors to be relaxed. Though there were many possibilities of calamities, dangers and hazards from the snakes, lizards as well as crocodiles, I did choose near the canal as my residence, because my heart could not wait, when I see place with attractive, pleasant and picturesque scenes, I can read sitting on this chair.

“Be careful” my Burmese friend said “It is dangerous to be resided near the water”

“Yes, I should Bhante (monk)” I replied gently “but I really like this place”

He looked unpleasantly at me and went away murmuring himself, though live or die. While looking him going towards his residence (My face was like what a man is he), I took a tent bag on my hand and unzip the zipper. I took the tent out from it’s pack and did spread out. Before starting to fix it, I carefully read carefully the instruction paper that was inside the bag. After reading two or three times, I started to fix it. I could not complete the fixing alone, so, I called to my friend help out.

After few minutes struggling, we completed our mission and unpacked the bags. While unpacking the bags, time to time, I would look to my mother picture that I often carry with me because, my mother picture gives me strength in failure and applause, acceptance, contentment and happiness when I succeed something to do. 

When, we finished unpacking the bags and taking shower, it was almost 5.30 PM. So, we headed to the meditation hall for the beginning ceremony. The beginning ceremony was at 6.00 PM, but all the students were already gathered in the hall. Outside of the hall, there were nuns from China, Thai, Vietnam and Sri Lanka in white colored robes.

It was 6.00, when the dean came to the hall. With the help of vice dean, he light the candle and joss sticks. Kneeled in front of the Buddha statue and worshipped the Buddha three times and recited the praising stanzas, Namo Tassa Bhagavato Arahato Sammasam Buddhassa. Slowly and gently, he stood from the kneeled place up and sat on the prepared chair and started to give the Dhamma talks. 

“Today is the last day of my life and I should do my best as much as I can, is the key thought to be success in our every action” he preached “strive diligently and practice meditation”

When, I heard those above mentioned advices from the dean’s mouth, I felt touched. I determined to follow the rules regulations and practice. The one hundred book reading challenges that I had committed with my Indonesian friend started to run through my brain’s every nerves, read and know today, who knows what tomorrow are, like a flying plane in the sky. Create the Facebook page for your challenge and write the reviews of read books, my heart began to shouting to mind.

 “Life is stable. Life is like a broken branch of the tree which is struggling to fall down on the ground. So, whatever, we have to do should be done today, now and in this very moment, who knows what is going to happen tomorrow because life is stable” continued the dean his preaching. “Though, there the life filled with goods, necessities, people, family members and relationship etc. These all the articles help and show us the ways to be succeeded life but not put us on the status, we are hoping to be achieved. The status that we are looking for, should be approached with once own efforts. For instance, if you we want to ascend and get on the huge mountain, we have to reach with our own efforts. Nobody is going to take us on his hand and get on the top of mountain.”

When the preaching finished, it was almost 8.30 PM. So, we had not another preaching. Then the all student went to have a tea. I remained sitting on my place thinking and scanning the whole Dhamma talks given by the dean, because, I do like coffee much more than tea.

I took the notebook out from my pocket and started to fill it with new thoughts that were running through my head. I would put the tip of the pen on the notebook and took again off because, I could found no words to start, though there were thousands ideas and thoughts running through my heart and mind. I kept the notebook down beside me and drank water bottle, making the sound Ghut Ghut, looking at the other students around. While keeping the water bottle down on the floor with right hand, I took the notebook and pen on my left hand again, I will write this time, but I could not write. So, I took stuffs on my hand and walked towards the residence. 

 After few minutes, I arrived to my residence kuti and hanged the seats on the branch of the cannonball tree and sat on the chair near the canal looking at the waving water. The fish started too appeared to the strand, ravage and shore of canal, their open-mouth implies that they were saying give me something to eat. Whenever, my two eyes osculated the group fish playing beautifully at the embankment or edge of the canal, I stood up from the seated chair and walked towards the brink to closely. As soon as, they heard the sounds of my stepped, dived under the deep greenly water. After a few second, again, they appeared and started to play on their own games. I put my hand on the water to catch them; but they ran away giving the rhetoric actions, catch my tail.

When I see their cold shouldering to play with me, concussing my wetted hand, I came back to the chair and sat putting my left leg on the right leg like a grandfather sitting on the verandah with the long cigar inside his mouth. I took the pen and notebook again on my hand began to fill the empty blanks. 

“While living in this competitive

world…………………………………………………………….

"Speak less but act more,

Before speaking read more

Before writing think more,

Share less but know more”

Words were began to hopped out blatantly like a bees springing from it’s nest and became my day determination to be full filled, I should do.

 “Venerable sir, what are you doing alone here?” one of the teacher asked me putting his hand on my right soldier “Don’t you scare to the ghosts?”

 Scared like an innocent dear from the lion’s sky-thundering roar, I looked backside slowly and so the teacher standing, like a ghost in white colored suits, behind me. I put my hand upon my chest and too deep breathe three times, oh, gosh my life.

“What happened?” the teacher questioned me again when he saw the silence within me.

“Scared” I replied slowly.

“To ghost?” he asked

“Yes” I replied in short.

Slowly, he moved towards me and sat on the chair. He smiled and loot at my face and then towards the canal.

“Don’t be alone in this area” he said “it is quite strange place”

“I did not get you sir” I said him with curiously “what are you trying to say?”

He did catch my hand jokingly and made me sit on the same bench with him. Then, he narrated whole the stories. He mentioned that in this Bamboo grove, there are evidences of ghosts’ existences. During such a meditation retreat, many venerable saints have seen the ghosts. The scariest narration is the tree, under where my tent is the death place of a couple, who were died due to failure in love. 

“Anyway, take care yourself” patting on my soldier the teacher went away “there are 

many poisonous creatures too”

Stock still like a huge stone rock or mountain, I kept looking him going. My mind began to wonder whether, is it true the story he narrated like a parrot to the travelers on the road or he is just making me to be scared just like my grandmother used to tell the stories when I would cry in my childhood ages. I looked around and saw nothing than the huge Bamboo bushes. “Whatever, I will not change my place.” I murmured myself and took the notebook on my hand, “I have done not that much sins, I think.” I opened the zipper of my tent and entered inside it. As usual, afore the sleep, I kneeled on my sleeping-mat and recited the Pali stanza three times, “Namo Tassa Bhagavato Arahato Sammasam Buddhassa” and blessed to my parents, sisters and relatives with my wholesome deed’s meritorious effects by reciting below mentioned stanza. 

“Sabbarogavinimutto (from all diseases freed)
Sabbasantapavajjito (from all grief escaped)
Sabbaveramatikkanto (overcome all enmity and)
Nibbuto ca tuvam bhava (liberated may you be)

Sabbitiyo vivajjantu (May all diseases be averted)
Sabbarogo vinassatu (May all diseases be destroyed)
Ma te bhavatavantarayo (May no danger be for you)
Sukhi dighayuko bhava (may you be happy, living long)
Abhivadanasilissa niccam (he of respectful nature honoring who)
Vuddha pacayino  (ever the elders)

Cattaro Dhamma vaddhanti (four qualities for him increase)

Ayu, vanno, sukham balam (long life and beauty, happiness and strength)” and slept.

In the early morning 3.30, bell was ringed. The weather was cloudy and cold, breezing wind was blowing making my two year cool like ice-berg and shivered whole body. Chirping of the birds around the jungle made the silent environment melodious. Due to the ringing bell’s sounds, monkeys also were awake and started to jump from one branch up another branch like a sports we used to play in our childhood. Some of them would cry loudly, maybe they were fighting to jump first like we would do in our childhood while walking through the balk or baulk of the paddy fields, then the big monkey would allow to jump to baby monkey first, like my mother would allow me go first when I would cry, and disappeared.

While brushing my tooth, I tried to visualize the whole scenes of my childhood dramatically. I was thin, dark in complex, short according to my ages and ugly but I was happy with my appearance since I had to accept it. I could remember my whole family members would abhor disdain and abominate me, there were no days my grandfather’s stick touch my body, but to my little mind, had no idea why and what for. Whatever, mistakes would do my uncle’s children, grandfather would condemn and nobody would open their mouth to salve me. I could remember, whenever my grandfather would bit me with his black stick, my mother would ran to the kitchen and would cry. To rescue from my grandfather’s unreasonable and irrational harsh and troublesome, my mother would took me to the paddy field with her in the cold-breezing morning and would cry out loud but my father had no senses because he would live his own life going here and there with his friends. Sometimes, he would come at night and my mother would complaint him but he would care not a penny of my mother’s words aggrieved songs. Instead, he would go to the bed and slept. 

                          When my grandfather was passed away, though he hurt me a lot, I have same respects towards him as every grandfather’s would have; he suffered a lot with many sorts of diseases. My father took him many hospitals but we could not cure him. His body bloated, swelled or got inflated and blue colored like it is going to cracked or exploded. After many striving to cure him, he passed away. One or two month, many villagers and family sang that due to my mother’s curse and execration, it was happened to him but slowly it was went-undergrounded or subsided.

“It is late” my friend broke my thoughts “we should go fast.” I wiped my tears out from my two eyes that was struggling to fall down and bent to clean the brush. After cleaning the brush, I washed my face and wiped it with small towel that I use as a handkerchief. Then we walked to the tent and got ready.

“What is that book?” my friend asked me “Did you not hear that books are not allowed to use in the meditation hall?”

“Yes, I remember” I replied him gently “but, it is my notebook-diary and I should take it with me”

He gave me disgusting looks, do, whatever you like, and walked away. I hided my diary inside robes and followed him. When, we reached the meditation hall, the chanting has started but still students were to come. I spread my seat on the floor, kneeled upon it and bowed three times down to respect the Buddha. I joined my hand and started to chant the Buddhist hymns following the other senior and junior monks.

When the chanting was over, the meditation master gave small sermon instructing the way to do meditations and concentrate our mind to the body’s every movements. Slowly, I took my notebook-diary out and jotted down every instruction hi gave. Other my fellow colleagues gave me wired looks but I cared not them and kept noting down my own.

“1.     Sitting Meditation

In sitting meditation, we start by focusing the attention on the actual physical sensations of the breath coming in and out of the body.

2.     Walking Meditation

During walking meditation, we keep attention the movement and touch the sensations of legs and feet.

3.     Eating

We can make eating other sorts of meditation, with the primary object being the taste sensations. Since we often eat while doing other things such as reading or talking to other people, retreat gives us a chance with less destruction.

4.     Meditation on the Breath

Sit comfortably, with the head, neck and chest in a relatively straight line. Be relaxed yet alert. Be directly aware of the physical sensations of the body while you are sitting: the contact your body makes with the cushion or bench.”

After explaining the kinds of insight meditations, the master explains the methods of doing it.

““When you stop walking, stopping.

When you stretch out the hand, stretching.

When you touch the cup, touching.

When you take the cup, taking.

When dipping the cup into the water, dipping.

When bringing the cup to the lips, bringing.

When the cup touches the lips, touching.

When you swallow, swallowing.

When returning the cup, returning.

When withdrawing the hand, withdrawing.

When you bring down the hand, bringing.

When the hand touches the side of the body, touching.

If you intend to turn round, intending.

When you turn round, turning.

When you walk forward, walking.

On arriving at the place where you intend to stop, intending.

When you stop, stopping

When you look at the food, looking, seeing.

When you arrange the food, arranging.

When you bring the food to the mouth, bringing.

When you bend the neck forwards, bending.

When the food touches the mouth, touching.

When placing the food in the mouth, placing.

When the mouth closes, closing.

When withdrawing the hand, withdrawing.

Should the hand touch the plate, touching.

When straightening the neck, straightening.

When in the act of chewing, chewing.

When you are aware of the taste, knowing.

When swallowing the food, swallowing.

While swallowing the food, should the food be felt touching the sides of the gullet, touching”

“What are you writing?” my best Vietnamese friend asked me, when he see me writing. I showed him my notebook. “Give me too” he said after reading few words.

5.00 AM, we started to do meditation following those above mentioned instructions that the master taught. He would instruct in the microphone and the entire students would follow him.

“Right go touch” he would say and we would take our right leg up and put forward “Left go touches” then we would do the same. Thus we did one hour walking meditation and then thirty minutes sitting meditation.

First day of meditation retreat, breakfast was offered by the famous meditation foundation called Bodhivanna Foundation and its members along with well known Thai actress Cherry. While meditation practitioners were taking breakfast, Cherry expressed her experiences of doing meditation relating the reasons to be practiced meditation and the methods. Her every words consisted happiness that she has achieved through meditation.

“I meditate thirty minutes every day”, she answered shortly, when the vice dean of the faculty Dr. PM. Surashak asked her relating her busy life and meditation.

After the breakfast, the meditation practitioners went to their residence-tents and cleaned their begging-bowls, were relaxed and some of them gave foods to the fish. “Sabbe Satta Aharat Thitika, may be foods these to all beings” reciting in Pali, I pour left over foods in the water and started to clean my bowl. Within the blink of my eyes, all the pour foods ate by the hungry fish and still, they were looking at me, give me some more. “I have nothing”, I murmured and walked out of the bank of the canal because, I could not see their hunger. 

I put the begging bowl on the stone where there was the sun-rise to be dried and throw the plastic dusts around the stone. Then took the book “Look the death on the Eye written by Dr. PM. Vajiramedhi” on my hand and sat on the chair to read. Before reading the inside, I turned the book around and read preface first, then the introduction and comments given to the author and book by the famous other people. 

“Good student” said my Vietnamese friend patting on my soldier from the back “what are you reading”

I gave him book.

“Look the death on the Eye”, he read loudly turning around “What is it all about?”

“I did not read yet” I replied.

“You never read this sort of book before” he said and put the book on my hand 

“anything wrong?”

“No! No!” I replied him fast “just curious to know” 

Patting on my right soldier, like keep it on, he went towards his tent. I sat again on the chair and started read the first chapter seeing the death through all natural things; impermanence is all things strive diligently. But, I could read few lines, bell ringed. I kept the book back inside my tent and got ready to go to the meditation hall again.

In this time, we had no sermons, so the meditation started. We did walking meditation forty minutes and then sitting meditation. After the meditation practice, devotees came to offer lunch, so we had to stop the practice and bless them in return. First the vice dean gave them five precepts to be observed and purified their heart and mind.

“1. Panatipata veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami

I undertake the precept to refrain from destroying living creatures.

2. Adinnadana veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami

I undertake the precept to refrain from taking that which is not given.

3. Kamesu micchacara veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami

I undertake the precept to refrain from sexual misconduct.

4. Musavada veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami

I undertake the precept to refrain from incorrect speech.

5. Suramerayamajja pamadatthana veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami

I undertake the precept to refrain from intoxicating drinks and drugs which lead to carelessness.”

And then all the monks blessed them reciting the Buddhist hymns. When, the devotees went out of the hall to be prepared themselves to offer foods. The saint-monks too went in line to receive foods. Weather was cold and it was very difficult to walk bare foot and without cold-relief clothes except wore robes but we had to accepted the situation because, it is the nature of monks, contentment. Blowing cold wind made the situation more difficult. 

When foods were received, all the monks went back to their own seats and sat quietly giving straight look to their begging bowls. The meditation master started to recite the stanza praising to the foods which made us to survive.

 "Properly considering alms food, I use it: not playfully, nor for intoxication, nor for putting on weight, nor for beautification; but simply for the survival and continuance of this body, for ending its afflictions, for the support of the chaste life, (thinking) I will destroy old feelings (of hunger) and not create new feelings (from overeating). Thus I will maintain myself, be blameless, and live in comfort.” After the recitation, the meditation practitioner began to have lunch.

While having lunch, I kept thinking about the sermon given by the Dean last night. I should be master of myself, to be succeeded life, shouldn’t I? If I won’t be my master to light the lamp for my own life to be brightened, then who else will do it? Does my beloved mother will be the master to be brightened life while, she has enough difficulties to suffer? Why I am feeling to disrobe that I had never thought about? Thousands of thoughts kept running in my mind. Due to the irrational anxious-thoughts, I could not take my lunch properly. Time has been for the lunch, so the monks were blessing to the devotees who offer foods.

 “Ākāsaṭṭhā ca bhummaṭṭhā

devā nāgā mahiddhikā

Puññaṃ taṃ anumoditvā —

 ciraṃ rakkhantu lokasāsanaṃ

May all beings inhabiting space and earth,

Devas and Nagas of mighty powers

Having shared this merit

Long protect the Dispensation!

Ākāsaṭṭhā ca bhummaṭṭhā —

 devā nāgā mahiddhikā

Puññaṃ taṃ anumoditvā —

ciraṃ rakkhantu desanaṃ.

May all beings inhabiting space and earth,

Devas and Nagas of mighty powers

Having shared this merit

Long protect the Teaching!

Ākāsaṭṭhā ca bhummaṭṭhā —

 devā nāgā mahiddhikā

 Puññaṃ taṃ anumoditvā —

ciraṃ rakkhantu maṃ paran ti

May all beings inhabiting space and earth,

Devas and Nagas of mighty powers

 Having shared this merit

Long protect me and others!

Ettāvatā ca amhehi —

sambhataṃ puññasampadaṃ

 Sabbe devā anumodantu —

 Sabbasampattisiddhiyā

May all Devas share this merit,

Which we have thus accumulated

For the acquisition of all kinds

Of happiness and prosperity!

Ettāvatā ca amhehi —

sambhataṃ puññasampadaṃ

Sabbe bhūtā anumodantu —

 Sabbasampattisiddhiyā

May all Bhūtas share this merit,

Which we have thus accumulated

For the acquisition of all kinds

 Of happiness and prosperity!

Ettāvatā ca amhehi —

 sambhataṃ puññasampadaṃ

Sabbe sattā anumodantu —

 Sabbasampattisiddhiyā

May all beings share this merit,

Which we have thus accumulated

For the acquisition of all kinds

Of happiness and prosperity!

Idam me ñātinaṃ hotu-sukhitā hontu ñātayo

               (Repeat three times)

May my relatives share these merits and May they be well and happy!

(Repeat three times)

Iminā puññakammena

Mā me bālasamāgamo

Sataṃ samāgamo hotu

Yāva nibbānapattiyā

Aspiration

 By the grace of this merit that

 I have acquired

May I never meet the foolish?

But the wise

 Until I attain final emancipation!

When the blessing finished, all the practitioners walked out of the meditation hall and headed towards their tent in line nicely. People chanted Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu sitting both side.  

At the tent, I put my begging ball down on the rock and took the books but my mind dismayed to read so I cleaned around, throw the dust and sat on the bench.

“What are you thinking?” my Vietnamese friend asked sitting beside me “you have changed a lot” he touched my left hand with his right hand “anything wrong?”

I smiled putting my right hand upon his hand, “Nothing my friend” and I said “just wanted to be isolated here”   

“Did you take shower yet” he asked looking straight at my face.

“No, I did not take shower yet” I replied 

“Let’s go to take shower now” he said “because, 1.00 PM will ring the bell again”

I agree with him concussing my head up and down. He got from the bench up and went to take his things like towel, soaps, shampoos and body wash. I took my things too. Bathroom was bit far from our residence tents, so, we stepped little bit fast. When we reached the bathroom, there were many students taking shower. We kept our goods on the provided ply and sit aside waiting until they finish taking shower. Fifteen minutes gone, no one seems to finish, so we both join them and took shower. While we were taking shower, bell was ringed. We took shower quickly and walked to the residence-tent hurriedly because, we wanted not to be late.

When we reached the meditation hall, we were late. The meditation practitioners were doing meditation. We put the seat down on our place and started follow them “Right go touch and left go touch.’’ Thus, we did walking meditation one hour and then sitting meditation another hour. It was 3.30 PM, when the meditation practice stopped. We all the practitioner left the hall and went to the residence tents back.

We had two hours for resting, so, I decided to take shower first and then read book. I hanged the seat on the tree-branch. I took my things and went to take shower. There was nobody in the bathroom, so, I could take shower freely.

               After taking shower, I put the wetted waist-robe on the branch of the tree to dry it off. There were other students sitting on my pot, so, I went another place to read book. I sat under the black-jam tree and started to read the book called “Death in the eye.” I read until the bell ring for the evening chanting. Chanting was done until 7.00 PM and there was another sermon from the vice dean.

“Even though our countries are different, we came from the same family” he said the vice dean “so, we should have unity within these diversity” he gave a kind smile to all the meditation practitioner students and continued “we should live together as one.” 

His whole words did drive me towards my country, why nobody talks these sorts of things in my small country, where there is no unity within small diversity. Where there is no peace within one family. Where there are not connections between two ethnicities. People of the country are full hatred, enmity and fighting each other and the end results are death. Many parents lose their children, and children lose their beloved parents, brother loses his sister and sister loses his brother due to this annuity within ethnical diversity.

I could remember, when, I was studying in grade five, there was one friend who is from low caste. His father was blacksmith and would work for the villagers to make instruments to use in the fields. Though he was from the low caste, he used to be my best friend in school. Wherever, I would go, he used to follow me. While he was talent in mathematics, I was in English as well as other subjects. When the exam would come, we would use to study together. My mother would help us and our study. She would bring foods and water for us. I would eat on plate and my friend would on the leaves of the tree. I would not understand why my mother would do this but I never ask her the reasons of reactions.

One fine day, there national festival and we all the students were celebrating it in school. We cooked foods, brought sweets from the market and eat all together. The teachers told to the senior students to separate foods for my friends and give them. While we were eating happily on plate, my friends were on leaves-plate. I felt very dole, dolor and sad for them.

“Why, they are eating separately” I asked to one of the senior students.

“Do you want to eat like him?’’ he replied me angrily “if you don’t then keep quite.

I shut my mouth and ate looking down. After four years studying as a novice in Sri Lanka, I could understand the reasons for that discrimination. Because of Brahmanism and it’s concepts of social development, we all the ethnical groups have no right to do what our heart and mind deserve and desire to.

There was once a news on the international media that the high class people (Brahmins) made to eat human excreta to the low class (Damai) old woman because she touch their plates while using well to take water.

The sermon was all about the significance of friendship, relationships between teachers and pupils and importance of love, compassion or commiseration and loving-kindness. But, I could not concentrate to it because my thoughts kept running in my childhood life. I was missing my childhood friend. I was thinking the way, other student bullied him. Even though, he was talent, witty and hard worker, he would not support from the teachers. The teacher would disregard him. But, I could not concentrate to it because my thoughts kept running in my childhood life. I was missing my childhood friend. I was thinking the way, other student bullied him. Even though, he was talent, witty and hard worker, he would not get support from the teachers.

It was late 8.30 when the sermon finished. The meditation was started. We did from 8.30 to till 9.30 and went back to the tents. There was no light in the jungle, so, we slept without wasting our times.

Same as first day, we woke up at 3.30 AM and following same tasks, we spent whole day. In the evening times, we had not sermons. So, we did meditation only. But another day, we had sermon from the rector of the university who enlightened with his thousands worth sermons about the importance of the Bamboo grove and the way monks in ancient India lived to all the students.

At the break time, I had good conversation with my Vietnamese friend about the mother valuable qualities and properties. While talking, we would get many philosophers, religions like Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhist concepts of thoughts about mothers and their love towards their children. Though, I am Atheist and deny the existences of the omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent Gods, I would always symbolize to my mother as a Living-God.

“My mother is Living-God to me” I said to my friend.

“If your mother is you’re Living-God to you, and then you are a theistic person. You believe in Gods” he said “monks do not believe on Gods”

“My God is not like other theistic religions” I replied him smiling “my God is visible. It is a human being like you and me. It is able touch. Able to speak like other human being and exist in here in this world.”

“Then she is not God” he said with cackle “she is a human being”

“But, I put her on Gods status because, I have deep faith on her which is coming from my deepest heart and every parts nerves within my body” I said “she is my creator like other theistic religion”

“What about your father? You never talk about him” he asked me. I smiled at him and dismayed to answer his question. Instead, I changed the topics. “What about the Farewell ceremony next year”

While going to take shower, we discuss about the farewell ceremony. How to get budgets from the faculty and how much should be collected from the students. And then we discuss about the organization that we are going to establish for the international students. While taking shower, we discussed about the way to announce it to all students on the farewell day.

At the evening time, we had no sermons except practicing meditation, so, I did not take my notebook-diary with me. After the meditation, we came to residence tents and slept but till mid-night, I could not sleep due the evening discussions. Thoughts kept running through my mind.

Later on, when the staffs knew that the students were using mobile phones, Ipads computers and books, they took it all the stuffs from us. Even though, I did not use other electronics, they did not allow me to read books. Instead, they said that it is the meditation retreat. Within these ten days, every material thing is prohibited.

Rules and regulations were been strict, so, we were not allowed to talk each and there were not any enlightened ideas within mind. Except the concentration of breathing and breathing out until the end of the meditation retreat.

December twenty eight was the final day of ten days meditations and it was finished with the appraisable sermons from the dean of the faculty and we returned back to our own temples with happiness and satisfaction within our inner and outer heart and mind.  

To be continues...............